Category Archives: parenting
I have a friend who misses something in the South. An unworkable situation tangled with regret and love and the knowledge that it can’t be made workable and life must go on as it is. None of that stops the heart wanting what it wants, “Ulysses Everett McGill: Pete, it’s a fool that looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart.” Truer words have never been spoken as I too have always missed people and things in the South: magnolias, soft summer nights, tea that is brewed as God intended and most of all my daughter. Now she and her wife have given me two more people to miss. Twin girls to add to my list of things to cry about as I get out of the car at the airport to return to the dry beautiful elitism of Colorado. Every time I say I won’t cry and every trip I do, just as I did every school year when I took Morgan to the first day of school and cried all the way to my school and then later work. Leavings are just painful no matter what you do.
I grew up in Texas and while it’s different than Georgia (of course it is don’t be ridiculous!) it is also similar in many ways. Read the rest of this entry
One bit of advice for first time mothers that I cannot repeat enough is this: pick up the baby and put down the broom. That’s right, let the dust gather, the mail pile up (might want to pay that mortgage though, don’t want to forget that one!) and the dog fur multiply. You can’t see out of your windows, you whine? So what? You should only have eyes for that wee one in your arms anyway! Count your lucky stars if you are getting your own bod washed, much less any major house cleaning done, on a regular basis!
After your little doll face arrives, the shift from having your house always, or most of the time, in your preferred stage of cleanliness to tripping over piled laundry in the hall and a mile high stack of dirty dishes in the sink is a tough one. Time to give yourself a break!
I’m not talking about letting your house enter pigsty status or causing concern for local Child Protective Services folk. I’m talking about letting the floors go for awhile. Give up making your bed for the time being – feel very blessed if you can find time to change the sheets on a regular basis! Go ahead and let the dust gather on your collection of Precious Moments figurines (yikes!) that you inherited from Aunt Matilda without guilt. And if the dust bunnies under the bed mutate into dust dinosaurs – oh well!
Very quickly you will find ways to get the central life and sanity preserving basics done. You can wash dishes or load the washing machine with one hand while the other holds Baby and some people’s kids will sleep on the clothes dryer in their carriers. Mine would not but maybe you’ll get lucky on that one. You can run the vacuum and maybe sweep a bit pretty easily. You can get those things covered but for clean diapers sake do not stress out over all the rest of it. The deeper cleaning stuff, believe me, will wait right there for you to get to it once baby has grown a bit and life is a little more coherent. Like when they are leaving for college. No really, I’m kidding!
Here’s the soft baby bottom line Mommsies and Daddios; Baby will be Baby for such a short time you cannot even fathom it at this moment. To waste even a moment while you are holding them and nuzzling their tummies on guilt over the state of the house is absurd. In those first few months (years) watch them every second you can, like corn you can practically hear them growing.
Observe, hold, smell, touch and love-love -love them as much as you possibly can. Ask any parent of grown children and they will tell you that children become adults and are leaving home before you know it and you do not want to have any regrets over how you prioritized your time with them when they do.
So breathe and relax…a little grubbiness never killed anyone and believe it or not I’ve heard that dog fur sweaters are a quite the thing in some parts. Consider this, soon you’ll be able to knit enough dog fur sweaters for a whole platoon of soldiers and maybe even go on to start your own dog sweater cottage industry. Not likely, but I can guarantee that one day you will be able to see clearly out of those windows again. Just in time to notice that the grass is taller than your fence but we’ll save that discussion for another day.
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